Taken from StoneSour’s ZZYZX Road:

I don’t know how else to put this
It’s taken me so long to do this
I’m falling asleep and I can’t see straight
My muscles feel like a melee
My body’s curled in a U-shape
I put on my best but I’m still afraid

Propped up by lies and promises
Saving my place as life forgets
Maybe its time I saw the world
I’m only here for a while
But patience is not my style
And I’m so tired that I gotta go

Where am I supposed to hide now?
What am I suppose to do?
Did you really think I wouldn’t see this through?

So after years of speaking about relocating to a new country, I finally did it. It took me a while to do it, but its done.  Some of my friends, who knew of this plan (I might add) were shocked that I didn’t speak about it forever and not deliver… Makes you wonder.

Nothing quite prepares you for this challenge, all you have to really hold onto is the people back home while you strive forward. An there is the great fallacy, the great deceiving. Words are cheap and mean nothing more than the air they are spoken with.

Being alone and lost in a strange new country doesn’t help one bit, and to add on that the stress of discovering all is not what was promised. Plans made don’t hold up. The lack of your very presence renders everything null and void. Its not fun, I can tell you that.

What continues to drive a person during this time, is the desire for more. “Those people left behind, they will soon see the error of their ways” you tell yourself as you continue on struggle after struggle. Until the goal is reached you do not rest, you do not give up! Push through it, separate the emotional from the logical, and continue. For it is only you and your faith along this road.

Looking over that skyline, knowing you made it, that in itself should be all the reward you need… A hollow victory, but a victory none the less.

New York calls, and I have answered!

Categories: Blog


Evan Russell · July 15, 2012 at 10:03 am

Well said.

Candice · January 28, 2011 at 6:13 am

I don't like this one…..and we have covered as to why. A happier topic next time perhaps?

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