Its pretty safe to say that every single human being and even some trees have friends. Humans are social creatures after all, and with out friends, there is no one to feel superior to.

So it strikes me as odd when people no long contact their friends or make any effort on their behalf to maintain a friendship. The main cause of this (I have noticed, so don’t think its scientific) is due to the person current hole.

For those of you who don’t know to which i refer, a hole, or current hole is your significant other. Its that person you are shagging, but not seriously. There’s no talk of marriage, cause frankly, you only know what she (or he. I don’t discriminate) looks like on her back… Back to my point, once said person finds another hole, they decide you don’t exist, unless they want something, or have a question, or you can make their life easier, or my current favourite at the moment , when you can do something for their hole to make their hole give them more play time.

I realise I might sound bitter, but to me, friendship is a two way street. Maybe a three or four way if its group activity. You seem to have gone out of your way to help your friend and what do you get for it? Nothing apart from more things you can do to make them and their holes happy.

In fact this week alone, I have answered more questions from my friends having technical problems than I have been asked what I am doing or what my plans are for the weekend.

So next time you want help with something, remember the last time you actually called me to have a conversation… Yeah, neither can I.

Categories: Blog

3 Comments

JimJac McKelvey · May 22, 2010 at 1:35 pm

Friendships are like a bank account – sometimes you make a withdrawal (take) and sometimes you make a deposit (give) – and there will be times when someone is in overdraft. Now when one of them is in overdraft all the time; you may have to close the account.

Kyle · May 22, 2010 at 4:04 pm

Well I'm thinking its time to close some accounts. Some people don't even realize they are in continuous withdraw mode, and then say things like “I never see you anymore”

Sometimes I really hate people 🙂

Evan Russell · July 15, 2012 at 9:00 am

You might find this article interesting
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/15/fashion/the-challenge-of-making-friends-as-an-adult.html?_r=2&src=me&ref=general

That was posted on facebook and this was my comment to the article:

I'm not even 30 and its true. Once you get to a certain point in your life, you try to keep the ppl you know close. But in the case of expats, we have to make new friends. We have to go out of our comfort zone or we are going to drown in our own loneliness. I've met a lot of ppl in the last 3 years that I have had the honour of knowing. Some of those ppl I consider family and pray that these friendships will last for thr rest of my life. Though I know deep down inside that some of these friendships will end once I stop being an expat.

More so, a lot of the ppl you hang out w as an expat, you might not have hung out w or known in your own town.

Some friendships for expats are out of convinence which is a sad fact.

. . .

Some ppl aren't worth our time or effort… period. Though for the ones that are, we gladly make time for them. I always try to keep an open mind and focus on being understanding that life gets too busy and people lose track of time.

Then I accept the fact that these people who give me these excuses do so every time. Then it gets to a point where you just say, “Fk it! Why bother when they don't give a crap.” It comes to a point where I feel like I'm begging and I am not one to beg. If I have to beg for your time then obviously I'm not worth it and so much for that friendship because I have more and better people who WANT me in their life and to be an active part of it.

Ever since I've been an expat, I've lost friends and family alike that just don't have time any more to just say “Hi.” or reply to a letter. Some times it's better to walk away than it is to fight for a friendship when it's one sided.

Comments are closed.